Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Question and Answer Thingy...or, what I really think of Sweet Potatoes.

Here’s a Question and Answer thingy that I ripped off of somebody else’s page and planted on my own.  Feel free to read it and let it give you insight into my own life and mind.  More, importantly, let it be a lesson on how NOT to raise your kids!

1. What time did you get up this morning?  I’m solipsistic.  You can’t prove that I’m awake. 

2. How do you like your steak?  Medium Rare, like life.  Done on the outside, not done on the inside. (that doesn't make sense to me either)

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?  Star Trek, the new one…….of course, its not new anymore. 

4. What is your favorite TV show?  The news.  I love happy things like war, famine, flood and pestilence explained to me in 30 second blocks followed by commercials for Rice-A-Roni and what’s coming up on today’s Jeopardy!  

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?  Where I am.....but can I remodel the bathroom first?

6. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing.  (Recommended by 1 out of 5 doctors!)

7. What is your favorite cuisine?  Italian followed by anything I can burn into obliteration on a Weber BBQ grille

 8. What foods do you dislike? Sweet Potatoes!  They are the DEVILS potatoes! THEY ARE THE DEVILS POTATOES!!

9. Favorite place to eat? Cattlemen’s Steakhouse.  A Pete’s Special makes me happy and gets you anything you want... (Offer not good in all states, some assembly required).

10. Favorite dressing?  10,000 island minus 9,000 island.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?  Toyota Tacoma.  Not the biggest truck.  But, that just means I’m okay with my own inferiority complex.  Talkin’ to you, lift kit Chevy boys!

12. What are your favorite clothes?  Blue jeans and a navy blue about a blazer?

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?  Rome, Back to Kauai, and Ireland, of course.  Oh, and Russia to Lennon’s Tomb.  To pee on it.  Take that Communism!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?  It’s about 3/5 full at the moment.  And I’m OK with that.

15. Where would you want to retire?  I have no frickin’ idea right now. 

16. Favorite time of day?  Night.  It really is the best time to relax, unwind, de-stress…and chase ghosts!

17. Where were you born?  186945-11 according to my Test Tube label.... It's lovely this time of year.  

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?  College Football.  Go Irish!......and Curling.  

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?  I was told that playing Tag was illegal now. 

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?  I repeat playing Tag is illegal now!

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?  Anastasia Romanov.  That chick owes me 5 bucks!

22. Bird watcher?  Does the finger count?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?  Refer to Question 16, damnit! 

24. Do you have any pets?  One cat.  His life expectancy is debatable on a daily basis.  

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?  Francisco Franco is still dead.  

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A Naval Aviator.  I recently received a letter that several three star Admirals are, to this day, still laughing about that.  

27. What is your best childhood memory? When my Mom bought a trombone for me in the seventh grade because she believed in me……or maybe because she new I’d make a saxophone sound like a wounded yak.   

28. Are you a cat or dog person?  I’ve already said the cat’s life expectancy is debatable.  

29. Are you married? Yes!  Otherwise we’ve been living a lie for years! 

30. Always wear your seat belt? You bet.  Unless I want to thumb my nose at authority and damn the man!…..oh, who am I kidding?  I wear it all the time. 

31. Been in a car accident?  Yes…………that’s all I can tell you about it until 2018.  

32. Any pet peeves?  Peeves are not good pets, in my opinion.  They are difficult to potty train and ruin furniture.  Peeves are right up there with cats in the life expectancy department. 

33. Favorite pizza toppings?  I’d like a large combination on the pan crust please.  OK. And I have a coupon for ‘Buy a large, get a medium free’……yeah……well, I got it in the paper……no its not expired…….seriously, the coupon is still good………no I don’t want crazy twists for $2.99, I want a FREE additional medium cheese pizza like the coupon says…….Are you implying I cant read, man? know what?  I’m going to McDonalds!  *click*

34. Favorite flower? Rose……every one of them has its thorn, you know.  

35. Favorite ice cream? Peanut Butter and Chocolate from B n R……..when I can raise the 3,000 dollars it takes to buy a scoop there.  Seriously, what is up with their prices?  It’s just ice cream!  What, are they milking the cows on site?  Are they making the stuff by hand?  Do I at least get a beer or a massage with my 3,000 dollar scoop...No?  Ok.  

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? J in the B.  

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Written once and driving none!  Suck it, Dragon Lady of the Hanford DMV!

38. From whom did you get your last email?  Not sure, but the Subject was “Boys, enlarge your member with our new cream for only $9.99!  Bill from Denver tried it and his wife was impressed!”

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?  The cream from back in question 38.  Although, Bill from Denver’s wife was not impressed and I now have a restraining order the state of Colorado for the next three years.  

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?  Refer to question 39.

41. Like your job?  Absolutely!  Except on every third Wednesday when I have a complete mental break-down and run through the office pretending I’m Paul Revere.  But, the docs say that should pass in a few years.  Did you know the British are coming? 

42. Broccoli?  You bet.  Some of my best farts have been broccoli related.  

43. What was your favorite vacation?  The second one when they went to Europe!  Oh, man!  They won that game show dressed like pigs and traveled across France and Germany and Rusty got to see that chick’s………um……that’s not what you’re asking is it?

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?  The family.  Applebees is still standing as far as I know.  

45. What are you listening to right now?  Silence……it’s golden you know. 

46. What is your favorite color?  Navy Blue.  It goes with my eyes.   ;)

47. How many tattoos do you have?  None.  I am a clean slate available for any of Jesse James’ trampy little girlfriends to ruin. 

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?  I don’t tag.  It’s an ugly verb.  How about “Surreptitiously Attach”?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?  Which time zone?  

50. Coffee Drinker?  Yes, but in moderation.  It gives me the trots if I drink it too much. 

Is that all?  Really?  I have so much more to tell!

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