Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Transformer Playground Memories

Thinking fondly upon my glamorous childhood, I recall the greatness of school recess and the things we boys would do to occupy those precious brainless minutes. One such activity was the live action interpretation of one of the most important dramatic performances of the 20th Century.  This masterpiece, "The Transformers".  Here are but a few of my fondest memories from those golden years. If you are a male approximately 30ish-40ish years old, recall the greatness with me.  If you are out of this age range and/or female........well, try anyway.

When we played Transformers on the playground, everyone wanted to be Optimus Prime because the Dinobots

No one wanted to be Jazz because he is one vowel change away from a weird conversation during battle.

We always agreed that the fat kid was Omega Supreme

If a FATTER kid arrived, we made him Unicron and told him to get lunch because we didn’t need him until the “movie” anyway. (Craft and Kraft Services)

The shortest kid was always Bumblebee. (Sucks To Be In Your Gene Pool)

I always volunteered for Soundwave because he was the easiest to contort into in real life. (These Things Matter Ladies)  To be Soundwave all I really had to do was stand around, talk slow and punch out a few cassettes now and then. Kind of like the Kardashians.

The rest of the cool kids turned into the 'planes' and just ran around. Starscream’s voice was pretty rough on the delicate vocal chords of a 10 year old though (See: Cobra Commander)

There was always one kid who wanted to suddenly throw in a Battlestar Gallactica character or to BE "GI Joe". Those were always good ass whoopings.

Megatron was always difficult to cast.  He was the leader of the Decepticons but he was also a gun! So, to 'transform' and be useful, you needed someone else to 'catch' you and 'fire' you. This usually resulted in just standing there and screaming at people. Just a lot easier.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

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